Umm I'm too high to move.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
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