Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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