It's a beautiful day for a hangover
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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