i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
