good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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