I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize