i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
