My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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