Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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