so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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