Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize