AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
