even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
