dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
