I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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