These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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