Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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