Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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