Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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