she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
