Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
