I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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