Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
