love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
