He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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