mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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