If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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