He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize