Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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