I wish I could punch you in the face.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
