So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
