So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize