Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
