i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
