I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
