I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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