Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
