you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
