And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
