She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
