I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
