Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
