Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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