We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
