smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
