Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
