Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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