just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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