I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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