i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
