Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
