His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
