Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
