so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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