hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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